A Beginner’s Guide to Orgasm Control

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People who are unfamiliar with orgasm control may view it as a dark practice that occurs in stuffy dungeons with strict mistresses and lots of humiliating dirty talk. But there’s so much more to it, and it actually offers numerous benefits.

If you’re a complete novice, have a look at our beginner’s guide to orgasm control. We’ll talk you through the best methods and benefits of edging as well as give you some ideas on how to take orgasm control to the next level!

Who Can Try Orgasm Control?

For starters, orgasm control includes some simple techniques that people of all sexes can learn. Edging is the most common way to try orgasm control. Essentially, it allows you to last longer in bed. The method is fairly straightforward, and it can lead to long-term improvement. You can even try it as a type of incredibly kinky sex play with tease and denial tricks or various fetishes.

With edging, the goal is to masturbate but stop all stimulation before you feel that an orgasm is near. Then, after waiting for a few moments, you can start to pleasure yourself again. Afterward, repeat the method a few times. That way, this method of orgasm control enables you to recognize your pleasure cycle.

Generally, anyone can attempt orgasm control and benefit from it. Men can use it to prolong their orgasms and make sex last longer. With practice and dedication, even men with premature ejaculation could learn to control themselves. What’s more, women who use orgasm control techniques can also reap their advantages. Generally, edging allows them to get to know their orgasms and climax much quicker during penetrative sex with more intensity.


Furthermore, orgasm control is a massively exciting way of teasing your partner. It takes power dynamics to another level! Typically, one partner will always be in control of the other’s orgasm, and that’s what makes edging with a partner so kinky! Many fans of teasing, dirty sex games, and especially BDSM can use it during their naughty sessions.

What You Should Do

While the start-stop method is quite self-explanatory, it’s better to look up additional pointers before you try anything. The practice may not work for everyone. It’s easy to get sexually frustrated or end up with blue balls if you neglect some crucial instructions.

In order to learn the nuances of your climax, the aim is to recognize your arousal phases. That includes excitement, plateau, climax, as well as resolution. Getting to know how your body responds during those stages is essential for prolonging your climax. And if you can extend your orgasm time, you’ll be able to handle all kinds of stimulation during masturbation, foreplay, and even intense vaginal or anal sex.

Men can start edging by lightly masturbating and testing out various strokes. If you’re a guy, hold off on masturbating too hard/fast at first. Take it slow and steady! Also, women should mildly stimulate their clitoris at first. Penetration or using sex toys like dildos or vibrators makes it much more challenging, so save them for later.

In both cases, you’ll simply get close to the brink of orgasm but stop everything when you feel it coming. After a brief pause, start stimulating yourself again, get close to orgasm again, and stop. Newbies could have a hard time with this at first. But you should be able to get a better handle on it with time and focus. 

Usually, repeating the process around four to five times will bring the best results. There is no harm in redoing the cycle several times, and the method is completely healthy. It will result in a massive build-up that will get you ready for a stronger (and much longer) orgasm.

Try Orgasm Control With a Partner

As we’ve said, edging can turn into a kinky sex game. Some people like to incorporate it with other activities like erotic sexual denial, ruined orgasms, bondage, chastity play, anal training, prostate milking, and similar. But if you just want to masturbate with a partner, you can try edging as a way of controlling your partner’s orgasm. It’s better to do this after trying it on your own so that you learn its ins and outs.

Firstly, try it with a partner during mutual masturbation. Also, you can watch your partner without touching them. Simply instruct them on how to edge when they masturbate in front of you. This will drive your partner wild since you’ll be in charge of their pleasure! It’s also fun to use dirty talk, roleplay, and anything else that both of you find highly arousing. You can even give your partner strict rules about masturbating and orders on how to do it, when, or if at all. See these top mutual masturbation positions.

What’s more, it’s possible to stimulate your partner on your own (i.e., handjobs, blowjobs, cunnilingus) and slowly get them to the point of no return. However, newbies should use the previous method first. It will make communication easier and eliminate any chances of a ruined orgasm.

Taking It to the Next Level

Now, if you really want to push it to the limit, you can attempt the other kinks that we’ve mentioned. That includes orgasm denial and chastity play. If you wish to fully control your partner’s orgasm or if you want to give that power over to your partner, use chastity devices. They will work best for those who are already comfortable with orgasm control. When you feel ready, add in some toys during edging to level up before using a chastity device.

Kinky Orgasm Control

Chastity devices are a superb addition to orgasm control, especially if you’re into BDSM. You can wear a cock cage or chastity belt during the day and hand the key over to your partner. That way, you’ll never be able to masturbate unless you get permission or until your partner unlocks the device and allows you to get sexual pleasure. This may sound intimidating, but it’s quite easy to get used to being locked up, especially if both partners are really into it.

Also, if you’re into owner/slave dynamics, chastity and orgasm control will be the peanut butter and jelly of your BDSM sessions! However, note that you don’t have to be a BDSM pro to use chastity devices. People in conventional relationships can try them to promise themselves to one another and to improve their sex life. These devices provide the strictest method of orgasm control, but they will give you some incredible benefits. That is, they’ll prolong your release much more than edging and will build up to an intensely high level of sexual arousal and a thunderous climax if your partner allows it. But before trying a chastity device, you’ll need to get familiar with some safety precautions (cleaning, possible allergies to materials, etc.).


So what’s the next step for you? Do you want to experiment with edging on your own to raise your sexual consciousness and improve your orgasms? Or do you want to blindfold your partner and tease them to an unforgettable climax? As you’ve seen, there are many layers to orgasm control, and we recommend it to anyone. So take a shot at it today but try not to cum too quickly! Good luck!