What does it mean to be a loving and compassionate Dom? Have you ever wondered about what a Dom gets from a Dom/sub relationship outside of dirty sex and dark fetishes? Many people still don’t know anything about it, and that’s what we’ll discuss today. So keep reading if you want to be the nurturing and loving Dom in your relationship!
The Dom/Sub Relationship Is More Than Sex
If you are a complete newbie to the world of BDSM, you may not know that D/s relationships are incredibly deep and intimate. Many beginners could think that it’s all about hardcore sex, verbal humiliation (words like slut, whore, bitch), extreme pain play, and more. You may believe that BDSM relationships are mostly about using subs for sex. But, the truth is that they are much more complex.
Ultimately, a Dom/sub relationship is more than sex. It involves compassion and emotional support. Also, one of the main tasks of the dominant role is to nurture the submissive. That means taking care of their physical and emotional needs during sexual activities. However, that can also involve mentoring and nurturing the sub outside the sack.
For example, Doms can play a large role in their sub’s personal and professional endeavors. There are many ways in which Doms can be loving. Unfortunately, some can overlook this key aspect of BDSM. They could be too eager to take power and exercise control solely for their pleasure. That could turn out to be unhealthy, harmful, and even abusive.
In reality, Doms need to exercise power in the appropriate way, regardless of the BDSM activity. That way, BDSM revolves around an exchange of power rather than a sub who only caters to the needs of a ruthless Dominant. Even in the most hardcore fetish or kink, the sub should still be treated like a real person, not like a mindless sex object.
In that sense, BDSM relationships are not that different from “normal” relationships. They are not a one-way street. They require a high level of dedication, confidence, and communication. In the end, the goal is mutual pleasure and self-development.
The Role of the Dom
So what is the best way to define the role of a Dom? Well, dominant partners can take their power by force, or it can be willingly given to them. The latter is clearly the only way to establish a safe, sane, and consensual relationship.
Essentially, subs are the ones who allow Doms to control them. That way, they hold a lot of power. Because of this, the Dom needs to take the initiative but only in a way that’s comfortable for the submissive. Wanting to be a Dom simply because you want to tie up your slave and fuck them in the ass whenever you please indicates that you’re not interested in a balanced and healthy BDSM bond. See the relationship values you can learn from BDSM.
In truth, the loving Dominant actually holds a lot of responsibility. They should always act according to the best interests of the sub. Even if being submissive involves servitude, the Dom should also serve their sub. They should view their sub’s trust as a gift and always work towards mutual goals.
In many ways, communication is the key to being a nurturing Dom. If you talk to your partner, you can clearly define the D/s roles, your desires, safe words, boundaries, and more.
Communication will allow you to become self-aware, empathetic, and empowered. Moreover, it will lead to some unforgettable experiences when engaged in BDSM. However, while Doms need to provide support for their subs, they also need to show some important dominant qualities. That includes exercising strong leadership, taking control, as well as being confident and aware. It also involves understanding how/when to give orders and knowing how to inflict pleasure or pain.
What a Dom Gets From the Relationship
So when you learn about how a Dom nurtures a sub, you’ll also get an inkling of what the dominant role gets from a Dom/sub relationship. Of course, this depends a lot on the individual relationship and the type of kinks that you can practice. Remember, BDSM encompasses everything from discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism.
If you’re a Daddy Dom, it’s evident that the dynamic will give you the chance to train and discipline your sub. You will do so mentally or physically and take pleasure from it in several ways. Aside from physical pleasure, Doms can also like the feeling of being needed. They can comfort the sub. They can provide them with a safe haven at all times. That can be incredibly rewarding.
Also, dominant partners can feel special when they know that their sub trusts them during sex or everyday life. As another example, they can enjoy the feeling of being with their partner in ways that no one is aware of. In kitten/master play, they can get a special thrill just by spending time with their sub and exploring their roles while escaping the real world. Even with more extreme scenarios like Master/slave with intense pain and impact play, Doms can get the opportunity to explore their dark side. They can enjoy catharsis while remaining protective and nurturing. With consent from a trusting sub, they can even explore some of their darkest and most twisted fantasies.
However, there is a downside to all those benefits. In extreme cases, some Doms can take it too far. They can become co-dependent. Their life could feel meaningless if they are not constantly taking care of their partner.
To sum up, D/s relationships can intensify intimacy, sex, and emotional connection. They mean different things for different people. Moreover, there are several ways in which Doms can get pleasure from their respective role. As you’ve seen, D/s relationships are so much more than kinky sex. So remember this advice before your next BDSM scene and have fun!